I am currently reading a book, Why men love bitches by Sherry Argov. I have taken a few notes and would like to share with you the principles she wrote and well hope that it may help all the women out there who wants to be confident, and just feel that they are more valuable that they think they are.
So here goes:
Principles on How to be the dreamgirl...
Principle #1 Anything a person chases in life runs away.
Principle #2 The women who have the men climbing the walls for them aren’t always exceptional. Often, they are the ones who don’t appear to care that much.
Principle #3 A woman is perceived as offering a mental challenge to the degree that a man doesn’t feel he has a 100 percent hold on her.
Principle #4 Sometimes a man deliberately won’t call, just to see how you’ll respond.
Principle #5 If you start out dependent, it turns him off. But if it is something he can’t have, it becomes more of a challenge for him to get it.
Principle #6 It is your attitude about yourself that a man will adopt.
Principle #7 Act like a prize and you’ll turn him into a believer.
Principle #8 The biggest variable between a bitch and a woman who is too nice is fear. The bitch shows that she’s not afraid to be without him.
Principle #9 If the choice is between her dignity and having a relationship, the bitch will prioritize her dignity above all else.
Principles on being the preferred "bitch" than the nice girl
Principle #10 When a woman doesn’t give in easily and doesn’t appear docile or submissive, it becomes more stimulating to obtain her.
Principle #11 Being right on the verge of getting something generates a desire that has to be satisfied.
Principle #12 A man knows which woman will give in to last-minute requests.
Principle #13 Whether you have terms and conditions indicates whether you have options. Almost immediately, you present yourself as a doormat or a dreamgirl.
Principle #14 If you smother him, he’ll go into defense mode and look for an escape route to protect his freedom.
Principle #15 Whenever a woman requires too many things from a man, he’ll resent it. Let him give what he wants to give freely; then observe who he is.
Principle #16 A bitch gives a man plenty of space so he doesn’t fear being trapped in a cage. Then . . . he sets out to trap her in his.
Principle #17 If you tell him you are not interested in jumping into a relationship with both feet, he will set out to try to change your mind.
Principle #18 Always give the appearance that he has plenty of space. It gets him to drop his guard.
Principle #19 More than anything else, he watches to see if you’ll be too emotionally dependent on him.
Principle #20 He must feel that you choose to be with him, not that you need to be with him. Only then will he perceive you as an equal partner.
The Candy Store Principle (May not be common to us Asian women, but Im just posting in case...)
Principle #21 If a man has to wait before he sleeps with a woman, he’ll not only perceive her as more beautiful, he’ll also take time to appreciate who she is.
Principle #22 Sex and the “spark” are not one and the same.
Principle #23 Before sex, a man isn’t thinking clearly and a woman is thinking clearly. After sex, it reverses. The man is thinking clearly and the woman isn’t.
Principle #24 Every man wants to have sex first; whether he wants a girlfriend is something he thinks about later. By not giving him what he wants up front, you become his girlfriend without him realizing it.
Principle #25 A man intuitively senses whether sexuality comes from a place of security or from a place of neediness. He knows when a woman is having sex to appease him.
Principle #26 Bad habits are easier to form than good ones, because good habits require conscious effort. Waiting encourages this effort.
Principle #27 If you pull the sexual plug at the last minute, he’ll label you a tease.
Principle #28 If he makes you feel insecure, let your insecurity be your guide.
Principle #29 A quality guy fantasizes about a woman who genuinely loves sex.
Principles that you should always keep in mind...
Principle #30 Any time a woman competes with another woman, she demeans herself.
Principle #31 When there is that undeniable “spark,” there is only one key to the lock.
Dumb like a Fox
Principle #32 Let him think he’s in control. He’ll automatically start doing things you want done because he’ll always want to look like “a king” in your eyes.
Principle #33 When you cater to his ego in a soft way, he doesn’t try to get power in an aggressive way.
Principle #34 When you appear softer and more feminine, you appeal to his instinct to protect. When you appear more aggressive, you appeal to his instinct to compete.
Principle #35 He’ll let a woman who becomes his doormat pay for dinner on the first couple of dates, but he wouldn’t think of it with his dreamgirl.
Principle #36 The token power position is for public display, but the true power position is for private viewing only. And this is the only one that matters.
Principle #37 If you give him a feeling of power, he’ll want to protect you and he’ll want to give you the world.
Principle #38 When a woman acts as though she’s capable of everything, she gets stuck doing everything.
Principle #39 Men don’t respond to words. They respond to no contact.
Principle #40 Talking about the “relationship” too much takes away the element of the “unknown” and thus the mystery.
Principle #41 Men respect women who communicate in a succinct way, because it’s the language men use to talk to one another.
Principle #42 When you are always HAPPY; And he is always free to GO; He feels LUCKY.
Some points to ponder:
She trusts her observations and she trusts her instincts.
First Law of Nature - Every Animal for herself.
“You’ve got to know when to keep your mouth shut.”
“Let us never negotiate out of fear.” - John F. Kennedy
When women give themselves away, and become needy...
Principle #43 If you allow your rhythm to be interrupted, you’ll create a void. Then, to replace what you give up, you’ll start to expect and need more from your partner.
Principle #44 Most women are starving to receive something from a man that they need to give to themselves.
Principle #45 A woman looks more secure in a man’s eyes when he can’t pull her away from her life, because she is content with her life.
Principle #46 The second a woman works overtime to make herself fit his criteria, she has lowered the standard of that relationship.
Some points to ponder:
* Don’t give him all of your time.
“Standing on a street corner waiting for no one is power.” When you don’t wait for anyone, it’s because you don’t need anyone.
* When you approach men this way, any man who steps up to the plate will have to meet you at your level.
* A man will respect a woman who is clear and direct about what she needs, without waffling or secondguessing herself If a man is late for a date, for example, the bitch will become annoyed because she is inconvenienced.
* Annoyance is different than becoming emotional.
Your true power, therefore, is marked by:
> Realizing what your rhythm is, and moving to it
> Knowing who you are, and what you will or will not accept
> Having the ability to make a decision without secondguessing yourself afterward, and without being talked out of how you feel
> Having self-control, because true power is the control you have over yourself.
Principle #47 You jump through hoops any time you repeatedly make it very obvious you’re giving your “all.”
Principle #48 You have to keep from being sucked down into quicksand. Unless you maintain control over yourself, the relationship is doomed.
Principle #49 Jumping through hoops often has a negative outcome: He sees it as an opportunity to have his cake and eat it, too. But when you stay just outside his reach, he’ll stay on his best behavior.
Principle #50 The nice girl gives away too much of herself. when pleasing him regularly becomes more important than pleasing herself.
Principle #51 The relationship may not be right for you if you find yourself jumping through hoops. When something is right, it will feel easier and much more effortless.
Take note of these:
> Once you accidentally step into that arena, you have to win him back by showing him that you won’t wait. You have a life. You have other priorities, some of which come before him.
> The bitch is not governed by fear of losing a man, because she knows the real price to pay is when she loses herself.
The next set of principles will be posted on here soon. =) See you all!
** Disclaimer: No intentions to reproduce contents of the book illegally. I just want to share something as good as what I was given access to, thought all women might need to be able to value themselves more.
